So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize