he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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