Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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