Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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