U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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