i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Pants are for mortals
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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