I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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