I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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