Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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