you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize