i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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