sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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