Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
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the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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