my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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