Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize