One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
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You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
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I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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