I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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