You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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