Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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