I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize