Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize