I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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