She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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