He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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