You're a womanizer and a bitch.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize