I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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