i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize