I wanna passion pit in your ass
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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