So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize