I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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