Ketchup is God's man juice
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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