it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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