No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
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I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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