What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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