Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize