you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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