you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
did you just send me my own nude
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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