Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize