i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
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Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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