I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize