you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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