birth control should be required to get into college
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize