i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize