I need help removing her.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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