the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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