If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
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The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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