i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
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You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
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My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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