i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
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We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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