the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
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Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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