He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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